On thursday night I went out for an exquisite dinner at my friend and chefs Crispins place. I never normally answer or even take my phone out but on this evening I chose to not only take it but also to pick up ..I found it odd that someone should call me after nine pm so I answered it to hear the devastating news that someone I had been very close to had taken their own life only an hour before. I felt so saddened by the news which is still haunting me and was only reflecting a few days prior how much this person had contributed to my settling here in Los Angeles.
I had been given her phone number by a mutual friend in London in 2006 and during my first few bleak weeks of living in a new country I had called her and although our conversation was somewhat bizarre it was comforting to hear a British voice . We met by accident about a month later and became instant friends. She asked me to help her with a specific problem of hers of which I had a bit of experience and it was the beginning of a pretty intense friendship..she was intelligent ,open and lovable and was often gloriously irreverent ...she was a real individual and truely English in her eccentricity...she was also never far away from intense mental and spiritual pain.
For about 7 months we would speak up to 4 times daily and the distraction of her troubles would take me away from the loneliness and despair I felt about leaving England..She was a blessing to me..After about a year we started drifting in different directions and following seperate pathes and I knew I could no longer help her.In the last year I saw hardly anything of her...but the question still comes into my head ..I wonder if there is anything I could have done to prevent such an out come?The answer is no..sometimes the pain people suffer is just too much..I hope she is now at peace.
Home is where one starts from
2 days ago