I have two new modes of transport- My brand spanking new Chubbies bicycle- a retro design with giant handle bars and very comfortable squishy seat tooboot.. my other mode is a 22 year old codger of an ex race horse called Ranger. I have leased Ranger from a nice lady called Liz who found me in tears at the equestrian center having had a melt down after having ridden yet another cranky old horse who would not move and behaved as though he had had a huge amount of valium administered to him. For some bizarre reasons the center always allotted me horses with behavioral difficulties-either too hyper or too sluggish. I fell madly in love with a horse called Connetticut who was a dream and excellent dressage horse but my heart was broken when one day I discovered he had been leased by another..So I am getting to know old Ranger who has hidden dressage skills and is very affectionate and gentle. The only problem so far is that if I ride him out in the open and he sees no fence he thinks he is on the race course and goes into a gallop.Its all learning. My exhibition i London ended on saturday phew .. most of the larger work has sold which delights me no end - what does not delight me is that more and more people I discover did not receive their invitations.. much to my shame and embarassment..I can sense that .."oh blaming it on the post again line.." but this time I am truely astonished at the decrepid London Postal system . I did not leave any stone unturned re invitations such was my fear of being resesnted . what ever went wrong I am more than powereless living 6000 miles away..I still continue to write grovelling letters however..
Its all very well sitting in isolation doing ones paintings , its when its time to put them "out There" that I go to pieces. I start to get more neurotic by the day on the build up to a show, the anxiety fear and self critiscim gradually building to a crescendo in my head.Negaria peaks and I start asking questions like =why are you making luxury items when you should be stopping global warming or helping earthquake victims in China? Despite amazing support from family (thanks MA and PA) and friends I still end up in a shame vortex and in the bondage of self obsession. Luckily this year there was enough distraction to quell the hysteria... the novelty of London -meeting my new God Daughter Rose -I did a fair amount of converting dollars to pounds in my head which stopped me shopping (an excellent detterant for the spender when bored syndrome) - wow what temptation along Kings rd! I really practiced restraint of "walllet" . I saw nieces nephews old friends. I went all over London on the underground and bus. The day of my opening it pissed with rain- a great putter offer of social engagements- I went and saw my dear friend Lize who gave me one of her splendid boxes - small moral tableaus with play mobile men- I was thrilled with my new piece- also a good distraction. Bt 5 oclock I had decided I would not attend my own opening at all and would sit on Albert Bridge and listen to my ipod and be tragic. I then remembered my friend Miss Whistles Book that she so kindly lent me "THE WAR ON ART" - it said "a professional show up and awaits the out come no matter what." I inhaled and walked into the gallery to await my punishment -which of course never came. I sold 11 at the opening and there was a great party in swinging LOndon.
Well, My mission is complete.My lack of blog has been due to my global movements and extreme stress and lack of time.I have exported my paintings, catalogues and myself back to the UK, got my visa stamped . It felt like a mammoth task a few months ago particually as I was not sure I would be allowed o reenter the USA with relevant stampings. I got an unbelievable warm reception from my wonderful friends. Things that struck me about the Uk as an outsider and a visitor after 2 years 1 Its cleaner - I no longer have to scour the ground in order to dodge dog shit 2 Less traffic- Red Ken has done a great job as mayor of London 3 The food is great , I ate out and ate very well - the brits are getting it together food wise after many centuries of neglect. I ate at Roly Leighs new place Cafe Anglais (where macdonalds used to be in Whitelys ) can you believe! 4 It is a great pleasure to walk around London - I ended up walking vast distances -it all seemed so near after being in LA 5 The Brits are warm but viral negaria is always on the lurk and can be caught easily- I have been infected by viral upbeatness of USA 6 Im afraid status anxiety and keeping up with Jones and obsession with celebrity is rife- largely due to tabloids and OK and Hello-esque mags -Ugh 7 London looks beautiful - new gardens planted in Hyde Park , more work on the south bank- thanks again Ken, London has gained pride in its appearance and had a makeover. 8 Sadest news for me that the PAn bookshop is no longer there.