I attended a Batchelorette party on saturday in a beautiful home in Beverly Hills...As i found out at my own hen party there is a tradition here of giving gifts that my enhance the wedding night. I was at a loss..giving too much of a "slutty" present might offend and yet what does one buy the woman with everything?? I began my search at a shop which had intrigued me for some time called "Trashy Underwear" on La Cienega . As I entered this dark gothic shop which had their xmas underwear on display ( santa claus themed briefs) I was informed by the scantilly clad shop assistant that I needed to be a member to browse the thongs and panties and I was asked to hand over $2 ..I was outraged at this ..that i should pay for the privilage of entering a shop so I left promptly and decided to cruise up and down Santa Monica Blvd in West Hollywood where I had been told by reliable sources that the were a large variety of naughty shops. Sure enough I found one within minutes where I thankfully was not taxed on entrance and a very helpful shop assistant. I told him I needed an amusing gift for a batchelorette Party (3rd Marriage) and he led and talked me through the sex toys and latest novelties. I was very tempted by the gold lame panties with back thong 'for him' but I thought it might be a touch over familiar buying such an intimate gift for her betrothed so I settled on a vibrating phone and 'low carb' edible underwear for him. The hen party was a tasteful ladies tea party with scones etc ..one of the gifts was a lap dancing demonstration(with lap dance instructor) who gave us a lesson in how to entice the man from his football game and the art of moving in a 'come hither ' way. It was most entertaining but I reflected that if my beloved would probably be highly alarmed if I started doing the "slow slow moves " and might think I need extra phychotherapy. She encouraged us to come to her weekly pole dancing class which she said was a great workout for the 'Abs'
here is philip as Camilla parker bowles ...I wish i knew how to add video links to the blog but I am not there yet. the sketch will be aired tonight and i cant wait to see it..he certainly looks like he enjoyed himself.
Here in CA doing out door sports is virtually compulsery..I made a decision at about 11 years old to" drop out"of any sport because a/ it was deeply uncool and for losers and b/ what would happen if God forbid I should lose? c/ complete unwillingness to go through the pain of learning something new lest I look a complete fool and the intolerable experience of not being "brilliant" at something immediately.However coming here to California I have taken up two things I dropped out of ..riding and tennis..My wise and wonderful friend Oscar says you learn more from doing a sport than anything else..and I would agree. I go through the whole spectrum of emotions ranging from rage to elation. At both these things which I had tried out as a child and never really mastered because I was not Olympic standard immediately.Learning to manage competition is not easy , there have been times I have wanted to murder my tennis opponent and this is a great opportunity for rage management. I have also wanted to break down in a heap in the middle of the court weeping with despair and give up . It is also hard to cover my glee at the occassional game that i have won. As for our 4 legged friends..I never stop learning from dealing with animals - like children you have to show them whos in charge. I had an interesting experience last week . I went up to malibu to see my friend and meet her beautiful new horse who is housed in a very posh German Barn. I got an introductionary lesson from her trainer. I have to say it was more than a humbling experience. My friend warned me that my riding would be "deconstructed" As I mounted the horse I was told that everything from my neck down to my little toe was out of place, that my 3rd virtibrae needed to be more to the left, seat bones more undernieth me ..as I rode around in circles and the German instructor "deconstructed" me I became more and more nervous and agitated and started to get more and more wrong. The horse then picks up on ones fear and starts to act out. As i drove the many miles back to West Hollywood I reflected on what a soul destroying experience I had just had and that it had ruined my ride. I then did a clinic with a visiting Brit Islay who is one of the heads of the British Horse Socoety ..I was dreading this and expected to be named and shamed..and ticked off within an inch of my life a la English instructers of my youth but no ...Islay proved to be the Delai Lama of the riding world ..she instructed all of us to get relaxed with the horse and not to worry about toe or heel positions. Within minutes I felt this wonderful connection to the horse and that we were able to work together in harmony.Once again I was proved wrong by my expectations and contempt prior to investigation.
After the longest election campaign and a nail-biting build up Obamas enormous landslide victory has restored our faith in America. I have to say that I went to an election party all hyped up expecting to be there well into the wee hours watching the state chart a la Bush -Gore but no there was no build-up , no hysteria , just a calm mention at around 8 oclock that Senator McCain was going to do his resignation speech. I cannot deny I did not feel a touch cheated out of a frenzied close call and that it was a tiny bit anticlimactic but made up for by the sheer joy that finally there is a President with brains ,beauty and good old fashioned common -sense not to say integrity. At last we can all relax and not feel ashamed to be living in America . I feel sad that Obama has been left such a tough legacy by the Bush administration and will have to turn the light on a very untidy room which he will have to clean up. In these tough times I cant help feeling it has given Americans a boost of hope . I read in the papers that England is being hard hit by the economic climate and It occurs to me that in England people are fed their daily dose of terror and despair just by looking at the newspaper stand or turning on the TV..its a "we're doomed" mentality that quite frankly I dont miss at all. Fear begets fear and as I listen to all the economic professors and experts talking about the recession on KCRW and the one thing they all say is that each particular country should try and avoid panic in order to recover. How do those poor people in England expect to get on top of it when fear is so readily marketed?
Well I can't believe i actually have a spare 15 minutes or so to write the old crumbly blog...I believe the limited audience that was now no longer reads it as the entries are so spasmodic...I aspire to make my blog like my friend wwwmisswhistle.com who posts fascinating articles poems photos,recipes etc on her blog and it is a general work of art. Or the wonderful , moving and funny ganderlady.blogspot.com - my beloved sisters blog ... the dust has been settling after the sudden and tragic suicide of my friend..it has shaken many of us in our small community and the legacy that is left to some is harsh ..She had a wonderfully dignified funeral at Hollywood forever Cemetry and it felt strange on a boiling October day to be singing beautiful old English Hymns and yet oddly fitting as well. Halloween and the election have been welcome distractions from the sadness of this whole thing. There have been the usual costume crisis, my eldest 13 year old daughter took me to the party shop displaying costumes for "teens".these costumes..little red riding hood , Dorothy from the Wizard of OZ etc looked more like adult role-play costumes designed to add spice to the bedroom.for couples .given that the skirts were very short and ample clevage to be revealed and yet they were marketed at teens..after much pleading i relented and bought one for my daughter.When I went to see her and her fellows in the Halloween parade I noticed that many were dressed in these "costumes" ..I get confused by America ..its very puritan -there is pure horror if one lets ones toddler go naked on the beach and yet its ok for teens to dress up like hookers ah well... Tomorrow is election day ..avery exciting time to be in America ..we pray Obama wins..