Our Hols

So many things have happened in the last few weeks- we went on Hols to Mexico -club Med to be exact - in Ixtapa -a tried and trusted location..there was an enormous blip in our trip though which was we were unable to take out teenage Grace. We were all very upset and spent alot of the holiday ogling other teenagers and wondering who Grace would hang with if she were here too. I also noted that to my knowledge there were no "hot Boys" and eagerly passed this information onto Grace. It rained torrentially for the first two days and we spent alot of time fighting over umbrellas.Grace said this was Karma intervening on her behalf and maybe she was right.
One of the great things about club med are the shows -there are shows every night and one is forced to participate because ones children are usually in them -doing hip hop or circus activities..one is expected to join in the sing songs and dance to "hands up, baby hands up give me your heart baby...." I love this sort of thing but for others it can be buttock-clenchingly cringe worthy.Luckily my buttocks have been surgically unclenched over my 2 and a half year period of living in southern California where sentimentality runs rife and cynicism has not yet been discovered.So I made a complete tosser out of myself doing aqua aerobics , poolside line dancing and taking daily tennis lessons.

Bicycle and horse

I have two new modes of transport- My brand spanking new Chubbies bicycle- a retro design with giant handle bars and very comfortable squishy seat tooboot.. my other mode is a 22 year old codger of an ex race horse called Ranger. I have leased Ranger from a nice lady called Liz who found me in tears at the equestrian center having had a melt down after having ridden yet another cranky old horse who would not move and behaved as though he had had a huge amount of valium administered to him. For some bizarre reasons the center always allotted me horses with behavioral difficulties-either too hyper or too sluggish. I fell madly in love with a horse called Connetticut who was a dream and excellent dressage horse but my heart was broken when one day I discovered he had been leased by another..So I am getting to know old Ranger who has hidden dressage skills and is very affectionate and gentle. The only problem so far is that if I ride him out in the open and he sees no fence he thinks he is on the race course and goes into a gallop.Its all learning.
My exhibition i London ended on saturday phew .. most of the larger work has sold which delights me no end - what does not delight me is that more and more people I discover did not receive their invitations.. much to my shame and embarassment..I can sense that .."oh blaming it on the post again line.." but this time I am truely astonished at the decrepid London Postal system . I did not leave any stone unturned re invitations such was my fear of being resesnted . what ever went wrong I am more than powereless living 6000 miles away..I still continue to write grovelling letters however..

Suiting Up and Showing UP

Its all very well sitting in isolation doing ones paintings , its when its time to put them "out There" that I go to pieces. I start to get more neurotic by the day on the build up to a show, the anxiety fear and self critiscim gradually building to a crescendo in my head.Negaria peaks and I start asking questions like =why are you making luxury items when you should be stopping global warming or helping earthquake victims in China? Despite amazing support from family (thanks MA and PA) and friends I still end up in a shame vortex and in the bondage of self obsession.
Luckily this year there was enough distraction to quell the hysteria... the novelty of London -meeting my new God Daughter Rose -I did a fair amount of converting dollars to pounds in my head which stopped me shopping (an excellent detterant for the spender when bored syndrome) - wow what temptation along Kings rd! I really practiced restraint of "walllet" . I saw nieces nephews old friends. I went all over London on the underground and bus.
The day of my opening it pissed with rain- a great putter offer of social engagements- I went and saw my dear friend Lize who gave me one of her splendid boxes - small moral tableaus with play mobile men- I was thrilled with my new piece- also a good distraction.
Bt 5 oclock I had decided I would not attend my own opening at all and would sit on Albert Bridge and listen to my ipod and be tragic. I then remembered my friend Miss Whistles Book that she so kindly lent me "THE WAR ON ART" - it said "a professional show up and awaits the out come no matter what." I inhaled and walked into the gallery to await my punishment -which of course never came. I sold 11 at the opening and there was a great party in swinging LOndon.

All Over

Well, My mission is complete.My lack of blog has been due to my global movements and extreme stress and lack of time.I have exported my paintings, catalogues and myself back to the UK, got my visa stamped . It felt like a mammoth task a few months ago particually as I was not sure I would be allowed o reenter the USA with relevant stampings. I got an unbelievable warm reception from my wonderful friends. Things that struck me about the Uk as an outsider and a visitor after 2 years
1 Its cleaner - I no longer have to scour the ground in order to dodge dog shit
2 Less traffic- Red Ken has done a great job as mayor of London
3 The food is great , I ate out and ate very well - the brits are getting it together food wise after many centuries of neglect. I ate at Roly Leighs new place Cafe Anglais (where macdonalds used to be in Whitelys ) can you believe!
4 It is a great pleasure to walk around London - I ended up walking vast distances -it all seemed so near after being in LA
5 The Brits are warm but viral negaria is always on the lurk and can be caught easily- I have been infected by viral upbeatness of USA
6 Im afraid status anxiety and keeping up with Jones and obsession with celebrity is rife- largely due to tabloids and OK and Hello-esque mags -Ugh
7 London looks beautiful - new gardens planted in Hyde Park , more work on the south bank- thanks again Ken, London has gained pride in its appearance and had a makeover.
8 Sadest news for me that the PAn bookshop is no longer there.

Philips return

I have been a single parent for 10 days which went suprisingly smoothly and without "incident" but am am ready for Philips return and happy at the prospect. I am now so used to spinning plates- here are the things I have been multitasking..finishing off paintings, shipping paintings ( now on 1st name terms with my shipper-Dean) sending off invitations and catalogues, retrieving missing addresses..cooking , shopping ,washing clothes ,telling stories, doing homework, taxying services- for children,paying bills organising summer camps etc etc the list goes on- luckily I was given a 3 wheely chairs by my neighbour cos it means with 1 shove of the foot I wheel myself from the computer area to the cooking area to the painting area. Then I go to bed and read my book only to waken in the middle of the night thinking of all I have to do and all that can go wrong.

11th hour

having shipped adn fed-exed and obsessed and worried about my luxury items and spiralled into a self absorbed vortex of "how difficult it is for me" I allowed myself the luxury of a film and I chose the 11th hour - Leonardo De Caprios film which was a very sobering and unpalletable watch infact it made me squirm and feel a sense of powerless about the world and what we are doing to it in regards to global warming and pollution.He described the problem as spiritual and cultural- that we have grown so away from nature that we believe we are not a species not part of nature infact above it and that by robbing the planet of its natural resourses we are infact self destructing as a species. The Earth will regenerate but we may not. He said that we work and we consume and do little else apart from keeping up with the Jones and getting that must have car or outfit.We are bombarded by Brands and Logos and advertising which makes us feel bad if we dont have this" stuff"He also says that while the money making corporations running the country are the authority it will be hard to make the shift needed to arrest global warming.We can do something about about what we buy - is it locally made or grown?-did it come from a sweat shop in China?He says the answer is to become aware of the problem..Living here in America which is the worst offender re global warning I am aware of how unaware everyone is compared to Europe. The other thing I have noticed is that its easier to be green if you have money- I would love to buy a hybrid car but cannot afford to. I will however invest in a $400 bicycle.

preparing for Blighty

I waved Philip off on the plane today..he is going back for 10 days to see Lena his Mum and attend his friend Johns wedding, he will also go to London for a few days. He like me is scared and excited -its been over 2 years. I finally got my paintings shipped-after weeks of indecision and hysteria not helped by getting a nasty bout of flu. Origionally I had sought the cheap quick option for shipping but when the secretary told me the paintings might get damaged on the way to the warehouse having not even reache d a ship-big alarm bells began to ring. After speaking to a few sensible people who reminded me that this was 2 years work and did i really want to play damage roulette not to say 'where will they end up" roulette I changed my mind and decided to go to the local specialists in packing .
The whole thing has been a real palava - shipping , organising the catalogue all 5000 miles away from the actual gallery and has reaked havoc on my mental health but the end is in sight.